A Delightful Morningtime Snack

Hello hungry readers,

Just a quick post today about a delightful morningtime snack that's quick and easy to make. It's perfect if you don't have time to make a full breakfast, or if you're completely hammered at 3 AM and you need to raid your fridge for something tasty.

INGREDIENTS:
• English Muffin
• Butter
• Tomato
• Muenster Cheese

PREPARATION:
Spread a bit o' butter on an english muffin. Slice two big pieces of tomato, slap 'em on the buttered muffin, and put a piece of Muenster Cheese on each half. Then pop those babies in the toaster and melt the cheese.

As we all know, the English Muffin was invented by Archduke Krinsky "Toesocks" Richalds in the year 538. After a long trade struggle with the country we now know as the United States of America, they were eventually legalized and can now be purchased at your local grocery store. It's quite a moving story.

That's all for today. I wish everyone the best in their quest to assemble this fine snack.

Chick-N-Coop

Internet, there is a place.

There is a place of happiness. There is a place where dreams come true. There is a place where you can spend very little money and eat a viking sized meal. There is a place that redefines hole-in-the-wall.

There is a place called Chick-N-Coop.

Hidden in the Sunset District of San Francisco, Chick-N-Coop is home to some fantastic food for extremely affordable prices. Pictured above is the meal I had just earlier today. A quarter chicken, mashed potatoes and gravy, a roll, a green salad, and a Coca-Cola. When my friendly, smiling cashier rang me up, she informed me that my grand total for this feast was $9.79.


BUH BAM.

Most of the items are substitutable as well. Instead of mashed potatoes you can get a baked potato with butter, or even mac and cheese. And instead of the Italian salad I had, you have the option of coleslaw, macaroni salad, corn, and many others.

And that's only if you get the chicken meal.

For Chick-N-Coop is also home to real, Hof Brau style corned beef, pastrami, and turkey sandwiches. Or, you can get a heaping plate of any of that without the bread, along with some sides.

Chick-N-Coop also knows that no chicken restaurant would be complete with a bottle of Louisiana Hot Sauce sitting on each table. I put a little on my baked potato a couple of days ago, and in doing so encouraged a tasty orgy within the confines of my mouth. You can also enjoy your meal at Chick-N-Coop with some beer on draft, or any bottled beer.

Get yourself over to Chick-N-Coop the instant you get hungry, internet. It just might be the smartest thing you do all year.



Chick-N-Coop

1055 Taraval St
San Francisco, CA 94116

Wing•Stop? More like WIN•Stop.

Internet, I'll be blunt.

I recently had chicken wings so delicious I almost vomited on the face of the person next to me out of pure happiness.

If you are able to somehow find some reason in the borderline ludicrous sentence I just wrote, I suggest you further use your brain by opening Google Maps, finding the directions to the nearest WingStop and driving there at near life-threatening speeds.

WingStop served me, almost without question, the best wings I've ever had in my life. It's odd to say that a chain restaurant is capable of serving something above average, but it's also odd to say that porcupines float in water. But guess what. THEY F*CKING DO.

What separates WingStop (not to be confused with Wing Street, a creature of Pizza Hut's dastardly schemes) from other bullshit is the choices. Sure the chicken is quality goddamn chicken, but when you go get wings, your choices usually amount to buffalo or or grilled.

WELL WINGSTOP JUST DOESN'T STAND FOR THAT SHIT.

You begin your adventure of choices by choosing what type of chicken you will be eating. Boneless, strips, or original. Personally I think boneless chicken wings are the Powers Above's gift to man, right under Rachel McAdams and Hulu.

Once you've chosen your paintbrush, it's time to choose what you're painting on. You can order 9 different flavors of wings.
9 MOTHERF*CKING FLAVORS. They are as follows:

• ATOMIC
• CAJUN
• ORIGINAL HOT
• MILD
• HICKORY SMOKED BBQ
• LEMON PEPPER
• GARLIC PARMESAN
• HAWAIIAN
• TERIYAKI

Just reading those flavors gives me a huge -- ehem, what?

You also have the option of splitting your order into two flavors. I, for example, got a ten piece boneless wings with 5 Cajun and 5 Lemon Pepper. (Fun fact - I won at life) The Cajun came smothered in spices and Louisiana hot sauce so good it would have made both of Russell Crowe's eyes look the same direction. The Lemon Pepper actually tasted like lemon. And pepper.

But the extravaganza of flavor doesn't stop there! And then, the next minute as if by Gypsy magicks you have the option of dipping sauces leaping out before your startled imagination.

I got the BBQ sauce and the Honey Mustard. Now I know what you're thinking. You're probably like, "Honey Mustard is aight." And you would be correct to say that,
ANYWHERE BUT WINGSTOP. YOU SAY THAT SHIT AT WINGSTOP AND YOU GET DRAWN AND QUARTERED. BAM. JUST LIKE THAT.

This is, without a doubt, the best Honey Mustard dipping sauce in the history of forever. If you were to offer me a night on the town with Angelina Jolie or that Honey Mustard, I'd punch Jolie in the face and make love to that sauce all night.

Internet, I'm about to lay down a fact.

You shouldn't be here reading this right now. You should be at WingStop trying not to cry.

Mr. Cecil's California Ribs

Since the beginning of time man has had a very close connection to ribs. If you remember, women themselves were even created by God using these delectable morsels, and for a long long time the power of the rib was lost. It seems almost that even God had forgotten the power that the mighty rib once did yield.

But then Man began to use science, language, and technology! Soon we rose above the rest of the animals and began building homes and cars out of metal, instead of building them out of horses and straw, little by little we began to become GODS.

But one thing had been forgotten. The power of the rib. That is until one day, Jonathan Burrows discovered it again and thus created Mr. Cecil's California Ribs. This restaurant captures everything that good soul food stands for. The double fried french fries are to die for, as are the hushpuppies, cornbread, and homemade lemonade.

But the be all end all of this place is simply the baby back ribs. They are out of this world. When you go in, you have to order a full rack, because once you have a bite, you can't stop eating them till it is no longer physically possible. They say nectar is the food of the gods, but that's a lie. Ribs are. There is a choice between two homemade barbecue sauces, one spicy, one sweet. Both are incredible, and anyone with a sane mind will alternate with every bite - but as they say on the menu; You gotta try them with out the sauce first.

My only gripe with the menu is that they don't offer collard greens. I think that that is odd. But I'm sure that they had a reason for not including them, just as God did not create giant worms with bat wings; There is always a reason.

At the last supper one might think that Jesus was sad because he knew he was going to be betrayed, but the real reason is because he knew he would never live to try these ribs; but now that they exist, I would not be surprised if he makes his trip back sooner than planned.

Eat at Mr. Cecil's.

Mr. Cecil’s California Ribs, West Los Angeles
12244 West Pico Boulevard, Los Angeles, California 90064
telephone: 310.442.1550 fax: 310.442.1552

Mr. Cecil’s California Ribs, Sherman Oaks
13625 Ventura Boulevard, Sherman Oaks, California 91423
telephone: 818.905.8400 fax: 818.905.7657

Pesto Ravioli

Sometimes, delicious can be simple. This is where ravioli comes in. The image you see above you was a meal that my girlfriend Jenny and I collaborated on this evening: pesto ravioli with garlic bread (accompanied by a cool glass of A&W root beer). I know what you're thinking, and no, we are not gourmet chefs of the highest caliber who will make you the same delicious food for a nominal fee. Unless you'd actually be willing to pay, in which case, we'll make the trade out by the old oak in the park. You know the place.

The wonderful thing about this meal is that the work:tastiness ratio is off the charts in favor for tastiness. Every bite is warm and comforting, and by the end of the meal, your stomach radiates with satisfaction. Preparing the pasta is easy enough (just requiring a quick boil), and the pesto sauce was actually made from Knorr pesto powder, which turned out to be damn tasty. This was also our first foray into making garlic bread, and from what was probably dumb luck, the perfect level of crispiness was achieved. For those seeking to make some of their own, just cut a few healthy slices of bread, butter up one side, and broil. After a few minutes, switch to the other side, butter, and spread some chopped garlic across the bread. Another quick broiling and you've got yourself some garlic bread, which as far as I'm concerned is the king of breads. Monarch even. Hell, it can be an earl for all I care. A tasty, tasty earl...

And there you have it! A quick and delicious meal; two qualities that are indispensable if you're college folk like us. And if you're not college folk, that probably means you're employed and can afford your fancy foods like butter on a stick. STOP RUBBING IT IN OUR FACES! No literally, I have butter all over my face now. Super gross, dude. Super gross.

Salsa & Beer!

If you like Mexican food, then you clearly haven't eaten at Salsa & Beer, because once you have - you will LOVE Mexican food, and I mean you will want to put Mexican food into your car, drive at 120mph over to Vegas, state your vows, and promptly rent a hotel room to seal the deal.

Yes, it's that good. And crazily affordable too. Literally, today I had a huge plate of beans, a beef tamale, rice, and a sprite for $6.00 (and I was FULL). The menu ranges from full combo plates for $3.99 up to your more standard priced $15-20 dishes, but is always filling, no matter what budget you are working with.

One of my favorite things on the menu are the shrimp fajitas. This shrimp is literally better than watching Lando Calrissian punch a Rancor in the face. In close second to the shrimp is the bean dip that is provided gratis with each table. Also, if you order beer for the table, they put it in a bottle that is literally the size of a newborn child stretching out its limbs to the farthest degree.

Basically this restaurant is so good that if Montezuma himself ate here, he would seriously reconsider his whole plot for revenge on Americans and with a tear stained, slobbery face, he would sit everyone in the country down and pay for our meals himself.

Salsa & Beer

6740 White Oak Avenue
Van Nuys, CA 91406-5359

salsaandbeer.com

Go's Mart

Hidden in a strip mall in Woodland Hills lies Go's Mart, home of quite possibly the best sushi in Los Angeles. I have been a loyal patron for more than 15 years, and if you meander into their golden gates you will soon understand the power that lies inside.

From the outside, it looks like some creepy Triad hideout. I mean, the place doesn't even have a name. It just says "SUSHI". The average passing glancer probably believes that it's an ancient torture chamber for the witnesses of what really goes on inside SkyNet.

Go's Mart is home to one of the most delicious things in the history of mankind - the Albacore Special. It is unlike anything you have ever experienced.

FIRSTLY,
You get rice. BUT THAT'S NOT ALL.

SECOND-OF-LY,
Inside the rice is what makes Go's Mart a haven. The true power of what lies inside is not only capable of powering Tony Stark's heart, Midichlorians, and the Large Hadron Collider, but it is also capable of powering LIFE ITSELF. For inside the rice lies the most succulent crab you've ever had the pleasure to experience, soaked in a spicy ponzu sauce the likes of which your brain is not wiling, nor able to comprehend.

THIRDISHLY,
This log of grandiose power is topped with lean strips of albacore, avocado, scallions, and garlic. If the sheer sight of the roll won't do it, then the taste will; YOU WILL LITERALLY SHIT YOUR PANTS, BECAUSE YOUR MIND SIMPLY CANNOT HANDLE WHAT IS HAPPENING TO IT.

What I have just described is only one tenth of the true force that the Albacore Special contains.

DISBELIEVERS, WITNESS THIS:


For us mere mortals, the taste experience provided by the Albacore Special is almost too complex to grasp completely. I know I never will. The combination of the rice, albacore, garlic, scallions, avocado, spicy ponzu and crab is just too much information for my tiny human mind to compute. It's truly a miracle of science.

Go to Go's.
And remember to bring spare trousers. Nobody likes a poopypants.

Go's Mart
22330 Sherman Way
Canoga Park, CA 91303