Salsa & Beer!

If you like Mexican food, then you clearly haven't eaten at Salsa & Beer, because once you have - you will LOVE Mexican food, and I mean you will want to put Mexican food into your car, drive at 120mph over to Vegas, state your vows, and promptly rent a hotel room to seal the deal.

Yes, it's that good. And crazily affordable too. Literally, today I had a huge plate of beans, a beef tamale, rice, and a sprite for $6.00 (and I was FULL). The menu ranges from full combo plates for $3.99 up to your more standard priced $15-20 dishes, but is always filling, no matter what budget you are working with.

One of my favorite things on the menu are the shrimp fajitas. This shrimp is literally better than watching Lando Calrissian punch a Rancor in the face. In close second to the shrimp is the bean dip that is provided gratis with each table. Also, if you order beer for the table, they put it in a bottle that is literally the size of a newborn child stretching out its limbs to the farthest degree.

Basically this restaurant is so good that if Montezuma himself ate here, he would seriously reconsider his whole plot for revenge on Americans and with a tear stained, slobbery face, he would sit everyone in the country down and pay for our meals himself.

Salsa & Beer

6740 White Oak Avenue
Van Nuys, CA 91406-5359

salsaandbeer.com

Go's Mart

Hidden in a strip mall in Woodland Hills lies Go's Mart, home of quite possibly the best sushi in Los Angeles. I have been a loyal patron for more than 15 years, and if you meander into their golden gates you will soon understand the power that lies inside.

From the outside, it looks like some creepy Triad hideout. I mean, the place doesn't even have a name. It just says "SUSHI". The average passing glancer probably believes that it's an ancient torture chamber for the witnesses of what really goes on inside SkyNet.

Go's Mart is home to one of the most delicious things in the history of mankind - the Albacore Special. It is unlike anything you have ever experienced.

FIRSTLY,
You get rice. BUT THAT'S NOT ALL.

SECOND-OF-LY,
Inside the rice is what makes Go's Mart a haven. The true power of what lies inside is not only capable of powering Tony Stark's heart, Midichlorians, and the Large Hadron Collider, but it is also capable of powering LIFE ITSELF. For inside the rice lies the most succulent crab you've ever had the pleasure to experience, soaked in a spicy ponzu sauce the likes of which your brain is not wiling, nor able to comprehend.

THIRDISHLY,
This log of grandiose power is topped with lean strips of albacore, avocado, scallions, and garlic. If the sheer sight of the roll won't do it, then the taste will; YOU WILL LITERALLY SHIT YOUR PANTS, BECAUSE YOUR MIND SIMPLY CANNOT HANDLE WHAT IS HAPPENING TO IT.

What I have just described is only one tenth of the true force that the Albacore Special contains.

DISBELIEVERS, WITNESS THIS:


For us mere mortals, the taste experience provided by the Albacore Special is almost too complex to grasp completely. I know I never will. The combination of the rice, albacore, garlic, scallions, avocado, spicy ponzu and crab is just too much information for my tiny human mind to compute. It's truly a miracle of science.

Go to Go's.
And remember to bring spare trousers. Nobody likes a poopypants.

Go's Mart
22330 Sherman Way
Canoga Park, CA 91303

The Best Sandwich of All Time

I know what you're thinking. How unassuming! Just a quaint little eatery. Heck, there's not even anyone sitting outside! Must be a pretty average sandwich place.

You're wrong.

This, my friends, is Italian Delite, hidden away in the downtown of Novato, California. Now imma let you finish, but this building is home to the best Philly Cheese steak sandwich of all time. OF ALL MOTHERF*CK'N TIME.

Anyone who has been there can tell you, out of all the sandwiches they have to offer, the cheese steak is a force to be reckoned with. It contains a meat that is the perfect combination of flavor and tenderness, something that would be delicious on its own. But they don't just stop there. They add cheese, onions, bell peppers, and the magic ingredient, their secret hot sauce. It sits on the tables in discrete, blank bottles, and for any fan of spice, it will rock your world. Even if you are not a fan of spicy things, you are required, BY THE LAW OF THE FOOD WATCH, to at least have one bite smothered in this sauce. There is only one recorded case in my history of going to this restaurant that someone preferred it without the sauce. Everyone else became junkies, much like myself; slaves to the intoxicating sensation of the sandwich as it dances across your palette.

For anyone happening to travel through the San Francisco bay area, take some time to travel north, to the city of Novato, and seek out Italian Delite. I promise you, you won't be disappointed. The prices are very reasonable, but the only thing to keep in mind is that the sandwich portions are misleading. A "half" sandwich is more than enough to satisfy those with average appetites. If you're feeling up to a challenge, by all means, order a "whole" sandwich. As you can imagine, it's twice the food, and twice the coma afterwards, but it's a good coma. It's a coma where you sit blissful, just happy to be alive, and you think to yourself..."Thank you Food Watch. Thank you." And then you cry a single tear. But before it can hit the ground, it transforms into a red, white, and blue eagle that soars through the sky.

And then the restaurant notices and starts a slow clap.

Italian Delite

971 Front St

Novato, CA 94945

Welcome to The Food Watch

Waddup "Hungries" (that's what I'm gonna call you):

This is a food blog, and a spinoff of the ever so popular The Movie Watch. Now, you might be asking, why would someone who writes a movie review blog begin a food blog? Well the answer is simple. Because we like food. Duh. Who doesn't? You obviously do, because you are here curiously reading this blog - and if you hate food, and you are just trolling, get the hell out of here, because the only things trolls eat are stupid lil' goats. We will not be talking about eating live goat here anytime soon, so go comb your pink hair in someone else's central park.

Anyway let's begin.

I made this.



It's thin veal slices served under a salad with vinaigrette dressing. Simple, fast to make, and super tasty- and I don't even like veal (I know, it's tender, shut up, I still have problems with how it's acquired). I don't know whats in the cup - maybe apple juice or beer or something...

Anyway- now that that's out of the way. WELCOME to THE FOOD WATCH! Here we will talk about food we've cooked, food we've eaten (good and bad) and pretty much anything related to food in general. There might even be the occasional video or good humored drawing. All I know is that if you enjoy food, you will enjoy this blog.

Buon Appetito!