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Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Go's Mart


Hidden in a strip mall in Woodland Hills lies Go's Mart, home of quite possibly the best sushi in Los Angeles. I have been a loyal patron for more than 15 years, and if you meander into their golden gates you will soon understand the power that lies inside.

From the outside, it looks like some creepy Triad hideout. I mean, the place doesn't even have a name. It just says "SUSHI". The average passing glancer probably believes that it's an ancient torture chamber for the witnesses of what really goes on inside SkyNet.

Go's Mart is home to one of the most delicious things in the history of mankind - the Albacore Special. It is unlike anything you have ever experienced.

FIRSTLY,
You get rice. BUT THAT'S NOT ALL.

SECOND-OF-LY,
Inside the rice is what makes Go's Mart a haven. The true power of what lies inside is not only capable of powering Tony Stark's heart, Midichlorians, and the Large Hadron Collider, but it is also capable of powering LIFE ITSELF. For inside the rice lies the most succulent crab you've ever had the pleasure to experience, soaked in a spicy ponzu sauce the likes of which your brain is not wiling, nor able to comprehend.

THIRDISHLY,
This log of grandiose power is topped with lean strips of albacore, avocado, scallions, and garlic. If the sheer sight of the roll won't do it, then the taste will; YOU WILL LITERALLY SHIT YOUR PANTS, BECAUSE YOUR MIND SIMPLY CANNOT HANDLE WHAT IS HAPPENING TO IT.

What I have just described is only one tenth of the true force that the Albacore Special contains.

DISBELIEVERS, WITNESS THIS:


For us mere mortals, the taste experience provided by the Albacore Special is almost too complex to grasp completely. I know I never will. The combination of the rice, albacore, garlic, scallions, avocado, spicy ponzu and crab is just too much information for my tiny human mind to compute. It's truly a miracle of science.

Go to Go's.
And remember to bring spare trousers. Nobody likes a poopypants.

Go's Mart
22330 Sherman Way
Canoga Park, CA 91303

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